So one of my good friends blogged about it being her birthday, and no one noticing, or making any effort to make her feel like it is a day to be celebrated. (which it is!!!)
I think birthdays are one of those things that no one really knows what to do about.
Some want to be treated and pampered, some actually tell you to never even mention the day, the less people that talk to them on their birthday the better…Me?
I love my birthday, because it is a day that I have a moment to reflect on what I have done the past year, and what was good, and what was bad, and what am I going to do for myself in the next year to become a better, stronger, or smarter person.
I guess you could say I use my birthday as my New Years. I never make new years resolutions, but I do make birthday resolutions!
My past year has had many ups and downs, and I feel I have finally made the choice in my life that needed to be made probably many years ago. But I wanted so badly for things to get better, and my marriage to become what I needed. But I feel the strength in saying that I have had enough. I can not be the person I have become any longer. I have to make a personal stand. A hard trying hurtful stand. Which in the end will make me a better stronger person. I have not liked what I have become in the past few years. And this is the year! This is the birthday that I am going to give myself the option to be a different person. The one I used to be! The one who woke up, looked in the mirror and liked what she saw. I am looking forward to my next birthday to see what has happened, and what I was able to accomplish.
And I must say, I could not have done any of this with out the support of my family and friends. New and old. Thank you all so very much for just being there if I need anything!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Current Events
Ok, so Michael Jackson died yesterday, and it was really odd for me, because in my mind he is still the good musician who is in his 20’s. To hear that he died at 50 something, was weird. I guess he got weird enough that my mind regressed, and could never think of the new him, but kept the old him in mind.
This has been a bad week for stars. Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and now MJ.
I hope three does it.
This has been a bad week for stars. Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and now MJ.
I hope three does it.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Psychology 101
So over the past month or so I have been having such vivid terrible dreams. Dreams where I wake up in a cold sweat with my heart racing and have to allow myself a few minutes to just be able to settle down. I hate these so bad, and the odd thing is that they do not have a common theme. In the past, if I was having nightmares, they would generally be about something in my current situation that I was struggling with. These are about everything in my life, my work, my relationships with my family, my divorce, everything. I am so tired all the time, because I have a hard time getting back to sleep after waking from these dreams, and they are usually in the middle of the night and so I am waking up usually around 3 AM, and just sit there staring at the ceiling just wishing I could forget what I had just dreamed, and go to sleep and not dream.
It is making me a bit crazy, and yes, my life is changing is many aspects, but I am generally a person who can see the good in everything, and believe that things happen at certain times for very specific reasons, and have faith that I will make it through and be better for it, so why am I having such awful dreams, when I really do not feel that way in my hours I am awake…hmmm. I wish I had paid more attention to my psychology classes !!! lol
It is making me a bit crazy, and yes, my life is changing is many aspects, but I am generally a person who can see the good in everything, and believe that things happen at certain times for very specific reasons, and have faith that I will make it through and be better for it, so why am I having such awful dreams, when I really do not feel that way in my hours I am awake…hmmm. I wish I had paid more attention to my psychology classes !!! lol
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Survey
A Survey:
65 Questions You've Probably Never Been Asked
1. First thing you wash in the shower? Hair
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Um….I don’t have a favorite hoodie. But I have a green one and a blue one. I live in Texas. Not too much need for hoodies around here!
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Nope
4. Do you plan outfits? I plan what I am going to wear as I go to my closet in my towel from my shower. And I wish I had a uniform to wear everyday so I did not have to make these decisions!
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Fair
6. What's the closest thing to you that's red? My suitcase
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? I am not going to tell anyone about that dream. Just know I woke up, and hoped I could forget it, but have not yet.
8. Did you meet anybody new today? Not yet.
9. What are you craving right now? Mashed potatoes. I crave those all day everyday.
10. Do you floss? Yup.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Smelly
12. Are you emotional? What kind of question is this? I am emotional when my emotions need to be, but I am also pretty good at keeping these at bay.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? I am sure I have. But probably not for may years.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? Depends on if it is in a bowl on in a cone. I am not into licking my ice cream out of a bowl!
15. Do you like your hair? Sure.
16. Do you like yourself? Most Days
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Yup. Why would you turn down dinner with a past President of the US? IT is only an hour. If you cant stand the guy you can still say that you went to dinner with a pres.
18. What are you listening to right now? Chatter from the airport.
19. Were your parents strict? They had rules and consequences. But growing up I thought I was sooo picked on. Now I would raise my kids the same way.
20. Would you go sky diving? Yup. If I ever got the chance
21. Do you like cottage cheese? Sometimes.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity? I don’t know. Probably. I just wouldn’t care.
23. Do you rent movies often? Nope. Probably have not rented a movie in 15 years.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? nope.
25. How many countries have you visited? One. Mexico.
26. Have you made a prank phone call? I was once an adolescent.
27. Ever been on a train? Don’t remember.
28. Brown or white eggs? The ones that come in the yellow carton.
29. Do you have a cell-phone? Um…when was this survey created?
30. Do you use chap stick? At least 10 times a day.
31. Do you own a gun? Ok..Remember I live in Texas.
32. Can you use chop sticks? I can get stuff from my plate to my mouth. Sometimes it is not pretty though.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight? 100 other people, but in my own room by myself.
34. Are you too forgiving? Depends on the offence.
35. Ever been in love? Yes.
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? I dont know.
37. Ever have cream puffs? Yes…
38. Last time you cried? Last week
39. What was the last question you asked? Will you be my contact?
40. Favorite time of the year? Fall
41. Do you have any tattoos? Yup
42. Are you sarcastic? Me? NEVER!
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? Yes. I could have lived my life without seeing that one.
44. Ever walked into a wall? Lol. Everyday.
45. Favorite color? Green
46. Have you ever slapped someone? I am sure growing up I tried to slap one of my sisters. Since then I don’t think so.
47. Is your hair curly? No ... straight as straight.
48. What was the last CD you bought? I don’t remember.
49. Do looks matter? Yes.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? Depends on many things.
51. Is your phone bill sky high? It is what it is.
52. Do you like your life right now? Not yet.
53. Do you sleep with the TV on? Nope I sleep with Silence.
54. Can you handle the truth? I wish every one would be truthful, I can handle the truth better than I can handle lies.
55. Do you have good vision? Nope. Terrible.
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? Cant say that I do.
57. How often do you talk on the phone? I talk on the phone a lot, but I mostly keep my conversations under 5 minutes, I really am a face to face type of communicator.
58. The last person you held hands with? Landon
59. What are you wearing? Black pants, Black shirt
60.What is your favorite animal? I don’t know
61. Where was your default picture taken? Wyoming. The Tetons
62. Can you hula hoop? Yes, a bit.
63. Do you have a job? Yup.
64. What was the most recent thing you bought? Pizza
65. Have you ever crawled through a window? Yup.
65 Questions You've Probably Never Been Asked
1. First thing you wash in the shower? Hair
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Um….I don’t have a favorite hoodie. But I have a green one and a blue one. I live in Texas. Not too much need for hoodies around here!
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Nope
4. Do you plan outfits? I plan what I am going to wear as I go to my closet in my towel from my shower. And I wish I had a uniform to wear everyday so I did not have to make these decisions!
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Fair
6. What's the closest thing to you that's red? My suitcase
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? I am not going to tell anyone about that dream. Just know I woke up, and hoped I could forget it, but have not yet.
8. Did you meet anybody new today? Not yet.
9. What are you craving right now? Mashed potatoes. I crave those all day everyday.
10. Do you floss? Yup.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Smelly
12. Are you emotional? What kind of question is this? I am emotional when my emotions need to be, but I am also pretty good at keeping these at bay.
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? I am sure I have. But probably not for may years.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? Depends on if it is in a bowl on in a cone. I am not into licking my ice cream out of a bowl!
15. Do you like your hair? Sure.
16. Do you like yourself? Most Days
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Yup. Why would you turn down dinner with a past President of the US? IT is only an hour. If you cant stand the guy you can still say that you went to dinner with a pres.
18. What are you listening to right now? Chatter from the airport.
19. Were your parents strict? They had rules and consequences. But growing up I thought I was sooo picked on. Now I would raise my kids the same way.
20. Would you go sky diving? Yup. If I ever got the chance
21. Do you like cottage cheese? Sometimes.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity? I don’t know. Probably. I just wouldn’t care.
23. Do you rent movies often? Nope. Probably have not rented a movie in 15 years.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? nope.
25. How many countries have you visited? One. Mexico.
26. Have you made a prank phone call? I was once an adolescent.
27. Ever been on a train? Don’t remember.
28. Brown or white eggs? The ones that come in the yellow carton.
29. Do you have a cell-phone? Um…when was this survey created?
30. Do you use chap stick? At least 10 times a day.
31. Do you own a gun? Ok..Remember I live in Texas.
32. Can you use chop sticks? I can get stuff from my plate to my mouth. Sometimes it is not pretty though.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight? 100 other people, but in my own room by myself.
34. Are you too forgiving? Depends on the offence.
35. Ever been in love? Yes.
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? I dont know.
37. Ever have cream puffs? Yes…
38. Last time you cried? Last week
39. What was the last question you asked? Will you be my contact?
40. Favorite time of the year? Fall
41. Do you have any tattoos? Yup
42. Are you sarcastic? Me? NEVER!
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? Yes. I could have lived my life without seeing that one.
44. Ever walked into a wall? Lol. Everyday.
45. Favorite color? Green
46. Have you ever slapped someone? I am sure growing up I tried to slap one of my sisters. Since then I don’t think so.
47. Is your hair curly? No ... straight as straight.
48. What was the last CD you bought? I don’t remember.
49. Do looks matter? Yes.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? Depends on many things.
51. Is your phone bill sky high? It is what it is.
52. Do you like your life right now? Not yet.
53. Do you sleep with the TV on? Nope I sleep with Silence.
54. Can you handle the truth? I wish every one would be truthful, I can handle the truth better than I can handle lies.
55. Do you have good vision? Nope. Terrible.
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? Cant say that I do.
57. How often do you talk on the phone? I talk on the phone a lot, but I mostly keep my conversations under 5 minutes, I really am a face to face type of communicator.
58. The last person you held hands with? Landon
59. What are you wearing? Black pants, Black shirt
60.What is your favorite animal? I don’t know
61. Where was your default picture taken? Wyoming. The Tetons
62. Can you hula hoop? Yes, a bit.
63. Do you have a job? Yup.
64. What was the most recent thing you bought? Pizza
65. Have you ever crawled through a window? Yup.
Career Conversations
Sitting here at the airport waiting on a flight to Peoria. I have not ever been there, so it will be good to go to a new place. Even if it is only a few days.
So it is that time in my career that I have to start having those conversations with my bosses about where I want to go from here, and what I expect to achieve in my current position. How long do I want to stay, or the question will actually be when can we move you? I have been working for this company for 11 years, and I have moved 8 times. I have been in Dallas now for 2 and ½ years. The longest I have been anywhere, and I can sense they are getting itchy fingers to move me again. I am not sure what I say to this. Do I tell them I would like to stay in my current position for at least another year, and will they actually grant my request. I don’t ever know what is going to happen in my life when it comes to where I am going to live next year. It has been a hard road for trying to plan for the future, but it has also put me in many great places that I would have never chosen on my own. I have also lived places that I know I will not ever choose to live again!
So back to the original reason for this post. I am flying with a leader in the company who has a lot of control over where I go, and how quickly I get there. So this is my chance to speak with this person face to face outside of the office to allow here to gage my readiness to go back out into the field, as well as what she feels I can handle. She is the one person who can say yes I want her in my Region, or no thanks, I don’t think she is the type of manager I want!
I actually have enough faith in my ability’s to not fear that she will say no, but I would like to have a candid conversation with her about my current situation, and ask that I not be moved for a little while, so I can get my life back in order, and not struggle just to get out of bed in the morning.
I also would like to put in a few suggestions on where I would like to live for the next few years of my life.
So these next few days could make a huge difference in the next few years of my life. I hope that I am up to the task of proving that I am able!
So it is that time in my career that I have to start having those conversations with my bosses about where I want to go from here, and what I expect to achieve in my current position. How long do I want to stay, or the question will actually be when can we move you? I have been working for this company for 11 years, and I have moved 8 times. I have been in Dallas now for 2 and ½ years. The longest I have been anywhere, and I can sense they are getting itchy fingers to move me again. I am not sure what I say to this. Do I tell them I would like to stay in my current position for at least another year, and will they actually grant my request. I don’t ever know what is going to happen in my life when it comes to where I am going to live next year. It has been a hard road for trying to plan for the future, but it has also put me in many great places that I would have never chosen on my own. I have also lived places that I know I will not ever choose to live again!
So back to the original reason for this post. I am flying with a leader in the company who has a lot of control over where I go, and how quickly I get there. So this is my chance to speak with this person face to face outside of the office to allow here to gage my readiness to go back out into the field, as well as what she feels I can handle. She is the one person who can say yes I want her in my Region, or no thanks, I don’t think she is the type of manager I want!
I actually have enough faith in my ability’s to not fear that she will say no, but I would like to have a candid conversation with her about my current situation, and ask that I not be moved for a little while, so I can get my life back in order, and not struggle just to get out of bed in the morning.
I also would like to put in a few suggestions on where I would like to live for the next few years of my life.
So these next few days could make a huge difference in the next few years of my life. I hope that I am up to the task of proving that I am able!
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Recital # 2
This recital went much better if you will. The notes I played were right. I did have a bit of a section where I got off with the piano, and the other violin, so I stopped playing rather than play in the wrong spot, but I got back in there, and went on. Here are pictures from the second recital.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Trees take 2
Here are the pictures of those trees today!
Yippee! they are growing!
We had to put wire around the one tree, because it kept getting ate by the rabbits! Now those pesky guys aren't chewing on it every night, it has really taken off!
Yippee! they are growing!
We had to put wire around the one tree, because it kept getting ate by the rabbits! Now those pesky guys aren't chewing on it every night, it has really taken off!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Trees
There is something in my yard that was not here when we moved in that is growing!!
Ok, so every year my place of employment has an Earth day celebration, and gives seedling trees away.
Here is a picture of the two that lived last year when we planted them (the one with leaves is actually from the year before, we had planted it in a pot because it was so little, so this is a picture after we actually planted it in the dirt.)
These pictures are from last year. Tomorrow I am going to post some pictures of these same trees this year!
Ok, so every year my place of employment has an Earth day celebration, and gives seedling trees away.
Here is a picture of the two that lived last year when we planted them (the one with leaves is actually from the year before, we had planted it in a pot because it was so little, so this is a picture after we actually planted it in the dirt.)
These pictures are from last year. Tomorrow I am going to post some pictures of these same trees this year!
Results first time around
So today was the first of the recitals, and everyone did really well. I was the most advanced student there, so my duet with the Maestro was the last student piece, then he did a solo at the very end.
So here is how it went…
Not so good. There are many many excuses! First. I have come down with a cold in the last two days, so it happened that I felt awful today. The instructor who was the other part of the duet was alas, also under the weather. It was sooo hot in the recital room that when it finally came to my part I was sweating (gross right!) bad part when your hand sweat your palm does not slide so easily over the neck of the violin so those hard parts where you are changing position 4 times in two measures were rough! Next I am not sure what happened with the pianist, she is very good, but this is a VERY hard piano accompaniment, and I honestly do not know if it was her fault, or our fault, but we kept getting off time with the piano, so it was a disaster! Beyond the excuses! I did feel prepared, so maybe next week it will be better!
So here is how it went…
Not so good. There are many many excuses! First. I have come down with a cold in the last two days, so it happened that I felt awful today. The instructor who was the other part of the duet was alas, also under the weather. It was sooo hot in the recital room that when it finally came to my part I was sweating (gross right!) bad part when your hand sweat your palm does not slide so easily over the neck of the violin so those hard parts where you are changing position 4 times in two measures were rough! Next I am not sure what happened with the pianist, she is very good, but this is a VERY hard piano accompaniment, and I honestly do not know if it was her fault, or our fault, but we kept getting off time with the piano, so it was a disaster! Beyond the excuses! I did feel prepared, so maybe next week it will be better!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Missing my support teams
Well, since I am not able to have family at my upcoming recital, I thought I would add the song I am going to be performing on my play list so at least you can hear it, and pretend that you are watching me play!!
It is the very last one on the playlist. The Bach Double. Click on it, close your eyes, and pretend!
It is the very last one on the playlist. The Bach Double. Click on it, close your eyes, and pretend!
It was a Dark and Stormy night
We had a bit of a storm here in Dallas last night...
We got up to 75 MPH winds, and lots and lots of rain!
(At least I do not need to water the lawn this week!
We got up to 75 MPH winds, and lots and lots of rain!
(At least I do not need to water the lawn this week!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Violin Rehearsal
With taking violin lessons comes the joy of doing recitals.
So Certain Music has a violin/piano recital for the next two weekends, and I am lucky enough to be playing my part in both of them.
Actually, Recitals are long and arduous, but I really do enjoy them.
I enjoy seeing how far the kids have come from the last time I saw them play and such.
Practicing is the hard part. I thought it was hard as a kid, as an adult, it is very hard, because of time. You not only have to make the time, you also have to still have the energy by them time you pull out your instrument to take the time to really pay attention to what you are practicing. Not easy!.
Here is some pictures of one of the recital rehearsals.
So Certain Music has a violin/piano recital for the next two weekends, and I am lucky enough to be playing my part in both of them.
Actually, Recitals are long and arduous, but I really do enjoy them.
I enjoy seeing how far the kids have come from the last time I saw them play and such.
Practicing is the hard part. I thought it was hard as a kid, as an adult, it is very hard, because of time. You not only have to make the time, you also have to still have the energy by them time you pull out your instrument to take the time to really pay attention to what you are practicing. Not easy!.
Here is some pictures of one of the recital rehearsals.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Career Updates
One of the changes I was alluding to in one of last blogs is that my boss at work was promoted last month to be a District Manager in Buffalo NY.
So our team has been waiting patiently to find out who our new boss is going to be.
We finally found out who it is going to be this past Friday.
Our new Boss is from here in the Home office, but has quite a bit of experience. I have never met him before yesterday, so I have no idea how it is going to be to work with him, but as always I hope for the best.
However, I have learned from past experience that even if you end up with a manager who you do not have the best relationship with, you still have to do your best so that others around them can see you have potential even if your immediate boss does not see it, or does not want to see it due to personal conflict.
So, here is to the immediate future at my place of employment.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Dallas Arboretum
When my Mom and Dad came to visit in April, one of the places we took them was to the Dallas Arboretum.
We spent almost the whole day there! It is a huge place.
Here are some pictures!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
So Behind
I have had quite a bit of change in my life in the past few months, and I have tons of pictures to post, and such, but I have not had time, and have not wanted to post some of my life events yet as not everyone in my family knows about them. So instead of having them find out from a blog, I have been waiting until they all had heard first hand. I hope everyone is well, and stay tuned for some blogging!
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