Happy Birthday! You are another year older and wiser!

So one of my good friends blogged about it being her birthday, and no one noticing, or making any effort to make her feel like it is a day to be celebrated. (which it is!!!)
I think birthdays are one of those things that no one really knows what to do about.
Some want to be treated and pampered, some actually tell you to never even mention the day, the less people that talk to them on their birthday the better…Me?
I love my birthday, because it is a day that I have a moment to reflect on what I have done the past year, and what was good, and what was bad, and what am I going to do for myself in the next year to become a better, stronger, or smarter person.
I guess you could say I use my birthday as my New Years. I never make new years resolutions, but I do make birthday resolutions!
My past year has had many ups and downs, and I feel I have finally made the choice in my life that needed to be made probably many years ago. But I wanted so badly for things to get better, and my marriage to become what I needed. But I feel the strength in saying that I have had enough. I can not be the person I have become any longer. I have to make a personal stand. A hard trying hurtful stand. Which in the end will make me a better stronger person. I have not liked what I have become in the past few years. And this is the year! This is the birthday that I am going to give myself the option to be a different person. The one I used to be! The one who woke up, looked in the mirror and liked what she saw. I am looking forward to my next birthday to see what has happened, and what I was able to accomplish.
And I must say, I could not have done any of this with out the support of my family and friends. New and old. Thank you all so very much for just being there if I need anything!

Current Events

Ok, so Michael Jackson died yesterday, and it was really odd for me, because in my mind he is still the good musician who is in his 20’s. To hear that he died at 50 something, was weird. I guess he got weird enough that my mind regressed, and could never think of the new him, but kept the old him in mind.
This has been a bad week for stars. Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and now MJ.
I hope three does it.

Psychology 101

So over the past month or so I have been having such vivid terrible dreams. Dreams where I wake up in a cold sweat with my heart racing and have to allow myself a few minutes to just be able to settle down. I hate these so bad, and the odd thing is that they do not have a common theme. In the past, if I was having nightmares, they would generally be about something in my current situation that I was struggling with. These are about everything in my life, my work, my relationships with my family, my divorce, everything. I am so tired all the time, because I have a hard time getting back to sleep after waking from these dreams, and they are usually in the middle of the night and so I am waking up usually around 3 AM, and just sit there staring at the ceiling just wishing I could forget what I had just dreamed, and go to sleep and not dream.
It is making me a bit crazy, and yes, my life is changing is many aspects, but I am generally a person who can see the good in everything, and believe that things happen at certain times for very specific reasons, and have faith that I will make it through and be better for it, so why am I having such awful dreams, when I really do not feel that way in my hours I am awake…hmmm. I wish I had paid more attention to my psychology classes !!! lol