Family Ties

I was just perusing some of my families blogs, when I came across some pictures of one of my cousins daughters.
First, she is darling.
Second, It put me on a path down memory lane.
I remembered some great times with my family (extended and immediate)
Every year for almost every holiday we would get together with all the Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins at one of our homes. We met at Grandma and Grandpas house quite often.
We would play all day long with all the cousins. We had our own age groups that would break off due to age, but we would all be in the same house, and we were always quite a crew. We would always eat tons, I am not sure how things did not end up more messy while we were there. (Perhaps they did, and I was the child so did not notice those things)
Those were such fantastic times. I am so grateful that my Mom and Dad made it an important part of our lives to know our whole family.
I often feel so inadequate in this aspect of my life.
I spoke to my youngest brother yesterday, and so many things that are big and important are happening in his life, and I knew nothing about any of them. This made me feel so very inadequate as a sister.
I hardly ever talk to him, and the last time I saw him was Christmas.
Now the sadder part, He is the last person in my family that I have seen.
I really think about them often, and wonder what is going on but have let the money situation get in my way of going to visit. It is so spendy to go from the South to the North West.
Yet some of my family make the effort, and seem to be able to afford it. I don’t know how.
I then called one of my other brothers that I had not spoken to in a while, and made sure I knew what was going on in his life. I care about my family deeply, and want them to know that even though I am not the sister that keeps in touch the best, or visits. I want to. And it makes me sad when I feel that I cannot afford it, because they are very important to me, and I do not think that they realize that. I have not been good enough at letting them all know. I will try to do better. It is always my goal in my life to strive to better those things that I find faulty in myself.
I will continue on, and one day I will be able to say. I am not near perfect, but I have become who I wanted to be, and those who matter know that they matter.