Well, I woke up this morning, came and checked my e-mail, and lo and behold, there was another e-mail from the Mother of the two kids we were looking to adopt. You know the one who changed her mind. Told us that there was no way ever that she could give up her kids, and that she was very sorry. Well. It seems she has a hard time making and keeping a decision.
She has changed her mind again. She wants us to have her two kids. But not yet. She has things that she has to get done first.
I think that this is worse than having her tell us she did not want to give them up. Feeling the initial disappointment of having it not work out, just to have her dangle the carrot once again. I think that I want to be done with this situation. I am not even angry at her for leading us on this whole time, have us get all the legal things figured out,. Involve other people that I love, have them spend time, money, and feel the stress that comes with anything like this.
I am irritated that she says she cant, then says she can.
I even understand that this must be one of the hardest choices in her life, but if she was not sure, she should have not ever said that this is what SHE wanted in the first place. It would have saved a lot of people worry, money, and hurt. If the answer is No, say no, and mean it. We are not sure what we are going to do now. All she wants is the one thing we do not have much to give, and that is Time.
My choice is to still pursue the State of Texas adoption, which will take a bit more time anyways, if she comes through, then she will. If she doesn’t, she doesn’t. I am not going to put my hopes on this any longer.
I know I sound a little angry. I am. I cant help it. This is important to my family as well, and has put untold amounts of stress on my husband and I to figure everything out for us as well as make arrangements for her in every way possible.(with the help of many people), and have her not be able to do anything for herself, not even make a choice and stay with it.
Whatever…I am done.
This video that we took one time while camping is kind of how I feel. Just pushing rocks around. Not getting a lot accomplished.
2 comments:
Mel,
I'm so sorry that this is becoming a roller-coaster for you. I wish there was something I could do to help. Is there? Maybe if you pursue both, one of the two will work out?
Melanie,
I have enjoyed reading your entries. I'm glad I found your blog. I just have to say you are handling this situation so much better than I could ever handle it. Good luck with your efforts and I hope things work out for you soon!
Rachelle
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